The Courage to Be Average: Why Comparing Your TOEIC Score Will Make You Miserable

You check your friend’s TOEIC score.
They got 850. You’re still at 680.
Suddenly, your own score feels small. Weak. Not enough.

So you study harder, trying to catch up.
But instead of feeling motivated, you feel tired. Frustrated. Stuck.

This is called Score Stagnation — and comparing yourself to others is the fastest way to get there.

The Problem with Competing Against Everyone

The book The Courage to Be Disliked has a powerful idea:
“The Courage to Be Ordinary.”

It means this:
You don’t need to beat anyone.
You don’t need to be “the best.”
You just need to be you, moving at your own pace.

But when you start comparing scores with friends, coworkers, or random strangers online,
you create a race that never ends.
No matter how high you score, someone will always be higher.

That cycle will exhaust you.

MTC Truth: Your Only Rival is Your Last Score

At My TOEIC Coach (MTC), we say this clearly:
Stop comparing sideways. Start comparing forward.

Your goal isn’t to “win” against your classmates.
Your goal is to improve on your last performance.

If last month you were 650, aim for 660.
That’s it.

Progress is a quiet, personal game.
And it’s the only game where you will always win — if you keep going.

The “1% Better” Habit — How to Break Score Stagnation

Here’s a simple MTC drill to stop the comparison loop and focus on real progress.

✅ After every practice session, write down one small improvement.
Example:

• “Today, I answered Part 2 questions faster.”

• “I noticed more signal words in Part 7.”

• “I reviewed yesterday’s mistakes.”

✅ Forget the score. Track the habits.
The score will follow.

This habit turns your attention away from others and back to where it belongs — on you.

Why This Works

• It builds a success loop. Every small win counts, keeping you motivated.

• It protects your energy. You stop wasting time on other people’s numbers.

• It gives you control. You always decide your next move.

You Don’t Need to Be “Better Than Them.”

You Just Need to Be “Better Than Yesterday.”

The courage to accept being “average” isn’t weakness.
It’s freedom.

When you stop competing sideways, you’ll notice something powerful:
You’ll start moving forward, quietly, but surely.

That’s real success.
That’s MTC style.

Are You Studying for Your Boss? The TOEIC “Social Pressure” Trap

Have you ever thought,
“I need a good TOEIC score or my boss will think I’m useless…”
Or
“If I fail again, my coworkers will laugh at me…”?

If so, you are not alone.
This is called The Social Pressure Trap — and it’s a huge reason why many learners get stuck.

You’re not dumb. You’re not lazy.
You’re just stuck in your own head, worrying about what other people think.

This kind of overthinking is what we call The Over Thinker Block.

Whose Problem Is This, Really? — The “Separation of Tasks” Mindset

In the book The Courage to Be Disliked, Adlerian Psychology teaches a powerful idea:
“What others think of you is their task. Not yours.”

It sounds simple, but it changes everything.

• Your task is to do your best study today.

• Their task is to decide what they think of you.

You don’t control their task.
You only control yours.

But when you mix up these tasks,
you start to study for your boss, your teacher, your coworkers…
And that pressure crushes your focus.

MTC Truth: Your Score is Your Task. Their Opinion is Theirs.

At My TOEIC Coach (MTC), we’ve seen this Over Thinker Block so many times.

Learners aren’t stuck because they don’t know enough.
They’re stuck because they’re carrying tasks that don’t belong to them.

Your job is not to control what your boss or friends think.
Your job is to build small, winnable habits — so your score will speak for itself.

But first, you need a habit that breaks the Overthinking loop.

The “3-Second Pause” Habit — Stop the Overthinking Spiral

Here’s a simple ALT drill to reset your brain when overthinking kicks in.

✅ When you feel that “What will people think of me?” pressure,
stop and take a 3-second pause.

In those 3 seconds, silently say to yourself:
“That’s not my task.”

Then, shift your focus to a small action:

• Read the next TOEIC question.

• Look at the answer choices.

• Breathe.

This 3-second habit trains your brain to separate your task from theirs.
It brings you back to what you can control — your next move.

Why This Works

• It interrupts the anxiety loop. You can’t overthink while you’re pausing.

• It re-centers your focus. You stop thinking about people who aren’t even in the room.

• It turns emotional pressure into a physical action. Simple. Repeatable.

You’re Not Studying for Them. You’re Studying for You.

The Over Thinker Block is not a study problem.
It’s a task problem.

You can’t control what people think of your TOEIC score.
But you can control how you react to that pressure.

Start with a 3-second pause.
Separate what’s yours and what’s not.
And watch how fast your focus comes back.

Your Past TOEIC Failures Don’t Matter — Let’s Talk About Burnout (The Real Reason You’re Stuck)

You look at your old TOEIC score.
You remember how hard you studied last time.
You feel tired just thinking about it.

And that little voice in your head says,
“Why bother? You’ll just get burned out again.”

Let’s be clear:
This isn’t laziness.
This is Burnout — the most dangerous learning block.

But here’s the truth:
Your past failures are NOT the reason you feel this way.

The “Trauma Myth” — Your Past is NOT the Problem

There’s a famous idea from Adlerian Psychology (yep, the book 『嫌われる勇気』).
It says: Your past does not decide who you are today.

Your old low score is not why you’re burned out.
It’s not your “TOEIC curse.”
It’s just a result of what you were doing back then.

What’s keeping you stuck now is not your history.
It’s your current mindset and study habits.

MTC Truth: Your Past Score Means Nothing.

The ONLY thing that matters is what you do today.

At My TOEIC Coach (MTC), we don’t care how many times you’ve failed.
We care about the one small action you take today.

And no, we’re not talking about “work harder” nonsense.
We’re talking about an unbeatable habit that even Burnout can’t stop.

The 2-Minute Study Habit — The Anti-Burnout Drill

Burnout happens when you try to do too much, fail, and blame yourself.

The fix?
Don’t fight it.
Make success so easy your brain can’t say no.

Here’s how:

✅ Pick one tiny TOEIC task you can do in under 2 minutes.
Examples:

• Read one Part 7 short passage.

• Listen to one Part 2 question.

• Look at 5 words in your vocab app.

✅ Do this EVERY day. Just this.
No extra study. No pressure.

Why This Works (Even If You Feel Hopeless)

• You can’t fail. It’s too small to mess up.

• You build momentum. Small wins feel good.

• You don’t need motivation. You just do it.

This is not a trick.
It’s a brain hack that resets your energy and starts breaking Burnout.

Your Past Isn’t Holding You Back. Your Habits Are.

You’re not stuck because you failed TOEIC before.
You’re stuck because you’re afraid to fail again.

But you don’t need to win today.
You just need to take one easy step that feels winnable.

The past is over.
What matters is what you do in the next 2 minutes.

Let’s start there.